seejanemom

Michelle Obama: First Lady, SECOND Pussy

Josie, she is NOT.

CAPTION: "Here you go, you little D.C. urchins. Sorry about snatching your school vouchers. Have some organic, heirloom, pesticide free.... suckers!"

 

DOPE AND RANGE: Obama and the Implications of His Sudden Respect for States' Rights

Wayne LaPierre should have skipped to the nearest microphone today to hail Barrack Obama into the fold of patriots who champion states' rights. After all, who could dispute that only the deepest devotion to liberty could have motivated such a magnanimous overture by the Obama Administration as this:

"It will not be a priority to use federal resources to prosecute patients with serious illnesses or their caregivers who are complying with state laws on medical marijuana, but we will not tolerate drug traffickers who hide behind claims of compliance with state law to mask activities that are clearly illegal,"   -- Attorney General Eric Holder

While it is no Peace Prize, lets spare a little red ink to illustrate why Obama should be recognized for his wisdom and insight into personal freedom:

"It will not be a priority to use federal resources to prosecute patients citizens with serious illnesses concerns for the safety of their person or property or their caregivers family members who are complying with state laws on medical marijuana  firearms but we will not tolerate drug  weapons traffickers who hide behind claims of compliance with state law to mask activities that are clearly illegal," -Attorney General Eric Holder

With ammunition this powerful, why is that microphone still standing silent Mr. LaPierre?

 

 

 

 

 

Bagga' Pleeez

My son plays football with some truly fine children who insist on calling him "nigger". Surely the whitest child who wears the uniform, he was initialliy confused, but I assured him that it was merely a reflection of growing fidelity with his fellow leatherheads.

Why then is it so terrible for the Tea Party movement to neuter the term "tea bagger" by employing it as a descriptor, not as the discriminator the Left would define it? Those on the eastern shore of our party must simply reject the premise that the term "tea bagger" is a perjorative.

Love the player. Hate the game. Embrace the bag.

And Glenn Beck can pat my ass any time.

Barack Obama Meets His Maker

While tracing around the channels trying  sadly to find Alabama getting  its giblets kicked in, Hunky Husband gratuitously lingered on what appeared to be my favorite politician being interviewed by my favorite celebrity. Barak Obama was on the Oprah show yesterday. Swearing lavishly, I struggled for the remote and he reminded me to tolerate her for the sake of the blog. Alright, already. I got a TUMS and gutted it out.

Oprah led the puppy down the path. Senator Obama from the Great State of Illinois uttered the word "Darfur" {screen shot of starving dark brown refugees} riiiight on cue. Senator Obama from the Great State of Illinois laughed knowingly as he gently recounted how his (very white and now very dead) mother had sung to him a lullaby that he couldn't quite remember the words to (but then neither could Hillary when she went down this road once) that said something about his "beautiful brown skin and brown eyes". {screen shot of  beloved mother holding Barack Hussein in their manicured Hawaiian garden.} The fawning audience of supplicants wiped tears from their eyes on cue, lest they wouldn't get the box of Oreos Oprah might have left under their seat.

The convivial conversation drifted to something, that if you are not a curious student of personal interplay, like myself, you might have missed. His wife, Michelle, gave him a good ration of shit for his incompetency at planning their daughter's birthday party.She went on and on about how she wouldn't trust him to pick out the contents of nine year old's goodie bags at the party store. "He would just get in there to the party store and, you know, freeze up. You have to pick out things for boys and different things for girls. No way."

Oprah began to squirm and attempt to redirect the vector of a conversation going very wrong. She was having  visions of Senator Neophyte in the Oval Office in January of 2009, wetting his bespoke pants at the prospect of picking out which Presidential Seal rug he wished to use. Forget the movement of troops. That might lead to the need for bespoke Depends. She needn't worry, her audience is not as deep as she. And she knows this very well.

The Great One figures if she works really hard and the bow is big enough, she might be able to package Obama up so tightly by election time that her American sycophants will never notice the parts missing out of his box.

Senator Edward Kennedy Meets The Eternal Flame.

Teddy Kennedy was nothing more than the last of a long line of fat bastards lobbyists spawned and bred by a "good Catholic" bootlegger for the sole purpose of  growing and protecting the interest of one thing--- his own corrupt Boston political machine and the chosen wealthy elite that would grow to surround it. 

Joe Kennedy was an unscrupulous rum runner who perfected a simple recipe of blending the plentiful human debris that filled the ghettos of Bean Town with a healthy portion of Other People's Money into a stout political potion that would intoxicate the Democrat party for three generations.

Ultimately, even the priceless medical care lavished upon Teddy Kennedy, courtesy of Papa Joe's hooch and YOUR tax dollars -- medical care HE AND HIS SOCIALIST CRONIES WILL NEVER ALLOW YOU TO HAVE--could not keep his bloated carcass above ground.

May the fires of an eternal Hell lick well at his EVIL ass and may he long, long enjoy the ancestral company of  all the Kennedy brethren trash that so richly paved his way.

The Cheapest, Most Harrowing Halloween ScareYou Will Ever Have: VIDEO

"Jane the Survivalist", "Jane The Cynic", "Jane the Doomsayer". Call me what you will, but I have not been around here lately because I am exceedingly busy burying my nuts against the storm of the century.

You know all those clearance Halloween decorations you just had to buy at 70% off? And what about that goofy assed blow-up yard santa you snagged at 85% off for a mere $170? (You high-fived yourself, didn't you?) They are taking up valuable space in your basement and on your credit card statement right this minute.

Not in my basement.

Not on my statement.

I have food and seeds and clothes for my children three sizes too big that I bought 80% off. With cash. In today's dollars.

Watch this simplified, cheapo, low tech horror movie if you dare.

And those halloween decorations you blew perfectly good money for will give you nightmares until the next full moon.

Are you READY?

Resolving To Hunt The Unicorn

The day after the inauguration coronation of B. Hussien Obama, I set about to accomplish my New Year's Resolution. I resolve to find an over confident, milque toast, Prius driving Liberal every single day for the next fourteen hundred and sixty and demand of him, "Where is my unicorn?" I will then remind him of the promises his Commander in Chief made to him and further inquire as to how his life has materially improved since the most black, but least qualified President in history was wedged into the White House window by the Democrat party.

I would encourage you to resolve the same, fair reader.

The first one who earns a restraining order from the Whole Foods parking lot wins a carton of NEWPORT MENTHOLS, a case of Pepsi and the change caught in my sofa cushions.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

(Great cartoon is courtesy of the ORLANDO SENTINEL, dying rag that it is, by way of my best friend Birdie.)