Rock Solid Guarantee

When my buddy Carol over at ALABAMA IMPROPER drops Glorious Girl child off at cheer practice, she can safely assume that her coach won't spirit her away for a quickie abortion after they finally nail that double hitch pyramid. Random immunizations between basket tosses are also unlikely. But I suggest she not move to New Hampshire.

Liberals have convinced residents of the Granite State that the normal battery of childhood immunizations the government now offers (at Federal taxpayer expense) is insufficient to cover everything Princess might be exposed to during her childhood. Getting coughed on by someone on the playground is taken care of with the current battery of shots, but that whole Calvins-in-a ball-on-the-backseat-past-eleven-on-a-school-night thing, not so much. Not to worry. The Smart Party that brought Princess free condoms in school as "protection" against pregnancy, and quickie anonymous abortions if they fail to actually "protect", now brings her (also at Federal taxpayer expense) their best guarantee that she won't suffer the ills of yet another sexually transmitted disease. The free HPV vaccination.

One stop shopping for any 11 to 18 year old minor (minor!)  who doesn't want to be crippled by Polio or hassled with Cancer. Super! The Democrats The Party of Scientific Reason loves to taunt Conservatives with the notion that abstinence education is an old fashioned method for protection against pregnancy and diseases associated with promiscuity that is lost on the horny youth of the twenty-first century.

I'll buy that. It is old. Chiseled on stone tablets old. And scientifically speaking, the only method of prevention that is 100% effective, 100% of the time its applied. So tell Princess to roll down her sleeve and keep her panties pulled up.

Comments

[Sniper One]

Well put, Jane.

[c.a. Marks]

I swear. I don't know what this world is coming to, really.

[radishthegreat]

There ARE some forms of HPV that can be passed on surfaces like toilet seats, so consider it's maybe not a bad idea if Princess's fellow cheerleaders have liberal if-it-feels-good-do-it parents.

[JANE SAYS: There are several forms of HPV. But according to my own doctor, only ONE kind that will eventually mutate to cause Cervical Cancer--the sexually transmitted nasty kind---the kind for which New Hampshire is willing to blow 4.8 MILLION of your dollars to "protect" girls. We all have some strains that flare in us at different times.You may even get an adverse PAP from one of the lesser forms flaring when your immune sysytem is low. And you are correct, we probably did get them from not having the thighs it takes to hover of a rest stop toilet the way Mama showed us when we were little.]

[Sniper One]

Well.. I can think of worse ways to blow 4.8 million dollars.