It was a gorgeous day in the countryside in The People's Republic of Northern Virginia last week as HH was squiring me home from what we like to call a "sneak up date". A sneak up date is when the kids are in school, he has a short day at work and steals me away to our favorite restaurant near the Shenandoah Valley for a romantic lunch and some extra curricular canoodling.
So there we were, glancing at watches, budgeting time so that we could make the most of our moments together when the car drew nigh to Men's Mecca. GANDER MOUNTAIN.
Who can resist listening to hawt guys talk guns? Not this girl. So in we turned.
Not
in the market to purchase anything at all, I insisted Hunky Husband take as long
as he like to handle a few things that I had heard him mumbling about
lately. After considerable ruminating over a Beretta Storm Carbine, HH
was pulled back to the familiar magnetism of a .223 . Beau, the sales
stud says, "One moment.". After a protracted absence, he grudgingly
emerged from the back of the store with a minty COLT AR-15 A3 Tactical Carbine with a quad rail system and six 30
round mags. He confessed that a police buddy had been eying it, but was
unable, as yet, to complete the sale. With a limited audience for such
a specialized weapon, he explained, he had held it, he felt, for just
such a customer as Hunky Husband.
I nearly laughed at my good fortune when he told HH the price. With the Assault Weapons Ban lifted, (though I fear only temporarily) and strict buyer qualifications, the market for this jewel was slim.
Now let me interject here>> HH has never, in all of our ::...teen:: years of marriage, EVER gone out and splurged on anything for himself that was not completely useful--underwear, socks, and the occasional boot band. Though he never needs my "permission", he has always exercised great restraint and deference with regards to large personal expenditures. He does not leave me a golf widow. He does not leave me a Masonic widow. And for all of his love of weaponry, he does leave me a hunting widow.
He has changed mountains of poopy diapers, spit shined household toilet bowls, and pinched hit for the laundry fairy for the last ....so many years. Hunky Husband is the father to my children that the little girl in me always longed for myself. I love him so deeply, I would give my very last breath for him.
So what was $1,475 dollars on a whim? And no ugly ties to wrap?
"Buy it!", I chirped. Hunky Husband, an addled sales stud and the growing cluster of vaguely envious and sadly unqualified onlookers gawked at me with collective disbelief.
As a stunned and giddy HH turned to begin the lengthy cavity check, I heard one bystander whisper, "Now that's a trophy wife!"
I LOVE YOU, HUNKY. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
Jane, you are every real man's dream.
[::JANE BLUSHES::]
Posted by: Stealthkix | June 17, 2007 at 09:57 AM
now jane, tell me ... is that picture on the post HH? if so ... i'm agreeing with you once again ... as you janiacs would say ... hawt! VERY hawt.
[JANE SAYS: Now I will tell you, (and Birdie can attest) that while this photo is not ACTUALLY HH, if not for the dark hair>>> Even I wouldn't know that it wasn't. HH is built THAT HAWT...;) Makes you almost dig guns, eh anita? ]
Posted by: anita | June 18, 2007 at 07:12 AM
What a nice treat for HH ;-). Hope you don't mind, I sent a link to this post to Mike Adams at TownHall--I think he'd love it!
[JANE SAYS: Good luck>>>you never know. But THANKS!]
Posted by: Birdie | June 18, 2007 at 09:42 AM
Damn, Janie, I love my wife with every ounce of my heart and every inch of my body, but in THIS ONE INSTANCE, I'll have to admit I'm jealous of the HH... *sigh*
Posted by: ProphetJoe | June 18, 2007 at 12:45 PM
HH is one lucky guy, Jane! :)
By the way.......Tag!
( http://northdallasthirty.blogspot.com/2007/06/meme-may-mah-mo-moo.html )
(runs off ahead of spray of bullets)
[JANE SAYS: HEY GUY!!!!!! I will check into what you have laid on me here soon>>>>::sniff:: I smell a MEME!!! Momming is taking A LOT of time, and FORGET the blog>>>I am CRAZY ... XOXO THANKS FOR DROPPING IN! ;) ]
Posted by: North Dallas Thirty | June 18, 2007 at 09:34 PM
My husband would fall in love with you in a heartbeat. Our men sound like they'd be buddies, too.
What a great father's day gift!
Posted by: Army of Mom | June 19, 2007 at 05:14 AM
What a great wife you are! My hubby splurged on all the Orioles games that are broadcast on TV for the whole season...
I've spent the last week redesigning my website at www.ksmithey.com,if you get a chance to go look, I'd love some feedback! And send me your snailmail address and I'll mail out an ATC--
[JANE SAYS: If you don't please the HH, He will never please YOU>>> If you get my point. heh. I will get by your site directly>>>and I'd love to trade! SUPER!}
Posted by: Karen Smithey | June 19, 2007 at 07:27 PM
Jane,
You need to up your bandwidth allowance. Your page is loading slow.
Posted by: PRCalDude | June 20, 2007 at 09:51 AM