Its A Uterus, Mrs. Masche, Not A Clown Car.

If the narcissism of an ambulatory HOT ZONE isn't gullet brimming enough for you this week, lets all clap for the latest American Self Centered Sideshow. So cryptic and exciting (to mouth breathing Joe TV with no American Idol to watch), the birth of sextuplets is expected sometime this week to two more hapless victims of the Me culture; Bryan and Jenny Masche.

These poor sots have been sold the American Standard that pregnancy at any cost, equals parenthood.

Hundreds of thousands of couples every year get the notion that a couple hits of CLOMID can't be that big a deal. Fertility drugs might help them to finally possess their heart's fondest desire. A Mini-We.

But where is the line between a few cycles with some maternal Miracle-Gro and tens of thousands of dollars in mechanical medical intervention guaranteed to bleed them dry before they have even bought the first diaper?

That line is the essence and purest definition of the word "parent".

Americans can buy anything they need. A life-saving heart surgery on a tiny infant courtesy of the greatest medical system on the planet is something we should all cheer.

But if buying their way into the poor house for the want of gestating their own freckles sprinkled across a tiny version (or six) of their husband's nose as the only path to fulfillment, then sadly, too many women are willing to open their wallets and close their minds to the depths of their own egotism. What infertile couples need to do is open their hearts.

How many foster children will go rootless so that six children can intentionally be born to indebted parents, unable to independently care for their individual special medical needs, just for the sake of genetic superiority?

Please save your non-judgmental cooing and entreaties of empathetic material support. I refuse to send diapers or financial aid to people who have wantonly created their own Hell. Instead, I will fervently pray for the survival and well-being of the inevitable few babies whose feebleness will be the direct result of human tampering with a process that was never designed to be improved upon.

Children are the embodiment of the very Breath of God.

Litters of children are more the fondest wish of Dr. Moreau.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

UPDATE FOR THE BLEEDING HEARTS:

MORE VIRTUAL TEENAGERS ON FERTILITY DRUGS HAVE LITTER. Only a YEAR of "trying" and their doctor put this GIRL on fertility drugs? THAT IS A CRIME. But the infertility industry mill, the bastard cousin of the Planned Pregnancy lobby, won't let that part make national news. No sir, Mr. Grimes, you won't hear about this in your revival meeting. And their "faith" is what holds these two parents, Ryan and Brianna Morrison, together. God was not consulted in this CLOMID nightmare, I assure you.

Please read the comments below to see precisely why I think "faith" and "GOD" has little to do with these poor, innocent science fair projects everyone else wants to call "miracles".

PRAY FOR THE SURVIVAL OF THOSE PRECIOUS CHILDREN, innocent victims of two more basilica sized egos. HEAR ME WELL>>>>because for as much venom as I have for the fertility mills and the ego maniacs who want nothing more than a PREGNANCY, I HAVE ENDLESS COMPASSION AND LOVE FOR BABIES AND INNOCENTS.

Somebody get me a VOMIT BAG.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

UPDATE FROM FOX NEWS, (all PARIS HILTON , all the time) who is just discovering the "coincidence" I brought you almost a week before.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BEST SCIENTIFIC AND FINANCIAL BREAKDOWN OF THIS FERTILITY NIGHTMARE YET by Deborah, nurse, reader and fellow blogger. She NAILS it.

Comments

[Greta]

I have to say you hit the nail on the head with this one. Before I married, I told hubby that if somehow we couldn't produce our own children - I wanted to adopt. He agreed. Then we had 2 and I could have had more...and yes - we adopted from the foster care system. Can you believe educated, white, fertile, middle class Americans adopting from the state? I wish more would do it!

[JANE SAYS: I was so hoping I would not offend the sensibilities of friends with this>>>but I cannot understand the moral compartments we create sometimes in order to better shoe-horn our wishes into our proclaimed "value system". Thank you for your support of children who needed A MOM and A DAD. xoxox ;) ]

[MoleOnABull]

Wow. Great post! I've been lurkin for some time now. Good blog.

[JANE SAYS: WELCOME to The Realm, kind lurker! Make yourself at home. Feel free to dissent, just remember to attack IDEAS, not people, use the yucky words soraiingly and for impact (as they were designed) and COMMENT LOVE is always appreciated!! ;) ]

[Margo]

I shake my head as I read this. You've done a masterful job nailing this issue, Jane. I would like to add one more thing, however. The mother. Most women (not all, there are always exceptions) are able to function and even work throughout their pregnancies to continue preparations for the family's new addition. This mother has most likely been abed for months with this pregnancy, unable to contribute even to the housework. Who did it? Who will continue to do it as she recovers not only from the inevitable Ceasarian, but the weeks of recovery from the havoc this multi parity has made of her body? Who will be there to help the family with feeding, rocking, bathing, diapering, etc when the infants finally come home? This little 'blessed event' will be a year long (at least) COMMUNITY adventure well beyond the financial. I hope the community has the fortitude, and I'm sure the Masches do too! Oh to be such a burden! *smirk*

[JANE SAYS: Thankfully my point hit its mark without seeming too insensitive. I am a very practical person and see all this designer baby nonsense as just another "must have" on our hedonistic American "fulfillment" track...(big diamond, big house, big car, BIG instant family that everyone must drop EVERYTHING to "support"). What if even ONE of those children has Cancer or VERY likely, a heart condition? Have they even THOUGHT that far ahead? NO, because they are FIRST TIME, SIX TIME parents. And selfish fools.

I hope no one goes on to assume that my stand on this then leads then to conclude that I condone homosexual couples adopting. I most certainly DO NOT. In that case, their infertility stems from their own CHOICES, not nature, so even less support should go to that kind of an inevitable freak show. May I suggest a nice weekend trip to the animal shelter for them, instead of the orphanage. Aren't I such a bitch? **care** My concern is for the well being of children, NEVER the "self esteem" of ULTIMATELY self-centered grown men and women. ;) ]

[anita]

jane, i agree with you and the other posters. i think the selfishness and narcissism of these people is unforgivable when there are SO MANY children out there who need families. these people should be taking their money and spending it on children who are already born. i know it sounds really backward, but i sometimes think that we should let nature take its course. PERHAPS some of these people just were not meant to have a child naturally if they have to go to such extraordinary extremes to achieve a pregnancy.

i'm also against the concept of single women having children ... meaning the go go executive types who have the money to raise a child but don't have the time or inclination to commit to a relationship with a loving and caring partner. they are feeling their "biological clock" ticking. so they find best test tube of sperm they can find. hey, i say, make up your mind. i don't think it's necessary (or for that matter, even possible) to "have it all" ... no matter what TV and the media tell us. i think it is intentionally cruel to a child and terribly unfair to to bring him or her into a world without both a mother and father figure (and yes, i think two women in a committed relationship can provide that mix ... i've seen it). Again, there is the old-fashioned side of me that says if you can't or are unwilling to put the time and effort into a committed relationship, then you may be lacking the proper skills to raise a child.

i also think for a lot of these people racism comes into play. i know a couple who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars over many years in fertility clinics trying to get pregnant. that didn't work. and then they were devastated when they found there was this massive waiting list for a "white" baby. come on people!! just stop it.

anyway, those are my thoughts on the subject.

[JANE SAYS: Damn, anita. What am I going to DO with you? ;) Agreeing with me>>>AGIAIN?

The saddest thing in this is these poor BABIES born (at a deficit) to the ego trips they will be forced to call Mom and Dad. Women CAN'T have it all. WE get the privilege of giving birth, and with that comes a few trade-offs. What a MIRACLE>>>I'll take it. So I maintain that the Feminist movement SHOULD have been more about the fact that now women have CHOICES. To that end, it was a successful "movement" and that is where my love affair with it ends. One can climb the corporate ladder, OR one can climb the homemaker ladder, but you can't have a foot on two different ladders, no matter HOW parallel you might like to THINK they are, you WILL fall.

I comPLETELY do NOT get the whole "miracle" thing. What is miraculous about this sick charlatan parlor trick? Just because medical science CAN, does not mean that it SHOULD.

My sixth grader is a PHENOMENAL writer (I say with pride) and Bible scholar with an interest in science. BIOETHICS comes to mind when I think about all the future holds for the next generation. Maybe we should train as many ethicists as we do doctors and we MIGHT have a hope of not making FRANKENSTEINS to coo over. ]

[V5]

JANE!!!

I'M USING ALL CAPS TO GET YOUR ATTENTION HERE HAHAHAHAH

Can you please email me at my main email account. I'm in Chicago and I've managed to damage my macbook and had to get a new one. I lost everyones email and phone numbers stored in the old one.

Thanks,

V5

XOXOXOX

Best to HH and the rugrats...

[Deborah]

I completely agree, Jane. Well done post again.

On top of all that you and commenters have already mentioned is yet another really huge downside in screwing around with Mother Nature. It is not only common, but expected that infants born in large multiple births (like sextuplets) will be born with mental deficiencies (slower learning ability, at the very least) to Cerebral Palsy, the most common affliction of all. Not only will these families face huge bills for food, clothing and shelter, but they will also face nearly insurmountable expenses for healthcare that may endure throughout the children's lives.

I personally know of two families with quints (4 years old and 7 years old) and each one of these ten children has learning disabilities ranging from "significant" to "profound". While both sets were born quite prematurely, the story you cite suggests this woman has miraculously been able to bring her children to term. I hope they will not face the future that is the families I know, which is nothing less than heartbreaking.

Humans were never meant to have litters and the doctors and medications that pat themselves on the public back to have created them have no liability. But life itself will mete out a strong punishment to these parents and tragically to their children, as well.

May God richly bless those who have brought so much love into the lives of children they have adopted and made their own.

[JANE SAYS: Beautifully and succinctly put, Miss Deb.

It is my feeling that every church in this country that "claims" to be Pro-Life should have an adoption ministry, and neither should they condone this kind of "miracle". I did NOT post the link to the sappy (church based!) website devoted to the facilitation of this sick couple's ego trip precisely because I don't want them tracking back here and proselytizing with their mixed message of tolerance for the freakshow and hatred of common sense. SO far>>I have not deleted ANYTHING from my comment threads since waaaay back on that homosexual marriage post that YOU CAME IN HERE ON>>>I am glad you come back regularly, and I enjoy your blog so much!]

[Justin Grimes]

Hey Jane Great Comment. If you are a Judgmental,Egotistical, FreekShow. Through out this post their is talk of god and doing the right and wrong things. Well you just contrubuted to the Wrong. Its funny how you bring god into this and be so judgmental towards people. You should all be ashamed of your selfs. You dont even know these people. You should spend all this energy doing positive things instead of attacking people. The world has other things that need addresing other then a Mother who didnt wish for 6 children. But it happened and they are dealing with it the best way they know how. So why dont you back off a little. The comment was made that the kids will need to be protected, in this you are corect. FROM JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE LIKE YOUR SELFS WHO DO YOU THING GOD IS FROWNING AT REALLY A MOTHER AND HER CHILDREN OR THE MOB THAT LASHES OUT AT HER PUBLICLY. GET A LIFE. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU NOT MRS. MASCHE WHO HAPPENS TO BE A GREAT FRIEND OF MY WIFE. WHO IS A GREAT PERSON NOT ALL THESE THINGS YOU SAY OF HER.

Justin Grimes

[JANE SAYS: Sadly, your personal bias glares through your borderline illiterate comments, Mr. Grimes. Spell check is your friend. And it is you and your friends who should be ashamed, sir.

GOD had little to do with this petri dish sideshow of which you seem to have such intimate knowledge. I do not have to know people to judge their actions. Judging I am free to do because there is no hypocrisy in my words, whatsoever. You see, Mr. Grimes, I have never knowingly implanted myself with a litter of children then scorned others who did the same. I know better, and only wish that your ego maniacal friends had as well.

I find it interesting that you should call down GOD on YOUR side of this argument, when in fact it seemed HIS "WILL" that your friends remain organically childless was completely ignored. So rather than accept HIS "WILL" for them, they allowed their egos to be abused by an opportunistic fertility industry, bought the hopes of a commingled gene pool, and now are hoping we will think them heroes that they did not selectively abort at least four of the embryos. That is the dirty little secret in this whole thing. The other half of what they tacitly agreed to do by consenting to the implantation in the first place, Mr. Grimes, was selectively reduce the pregnancies. But they used GOD to conveniently neglect to follow through with that part of their little deal with the Devil. And now six babies will INTENTIONALLY struggle through life with myriad health complaints and learning disabilities.

And this, I am supposed to term a "MIRACLE"?

I will not have pity or admiration for this mother who (as you illogically point out) "did not WISH for six children". How is it that she GOT these six children if not only WISHING for them, but going to GREAT MECHANICAL AND FINANCIAL EXPENSE TO GET THEM, Mr. Grimes? Hmmm?

DO YOU NOT EVEN HEAR HOW ILLOGICAL YOUR OWN STUPID ARGUMENT IS, Mr. Grimes?

If the Masches are so full of GODLY LOVE, as everyone is claiming, where are the six adopted foster children they could have SELFLESSLY adopted practically OVERNIGHT in most states?

This wasn't about being PARENTS to them, Mr. Grimes, it is about being PREGNANT. That was my sole point.

You need to go back to high school Biology 101 if you can't understand basic reproduction and its implications, Mr. Grimes. And while you are there>>>>>check out the ENGLISH DEPARTMENT.

I hear they have STYLE MANUALS and wonderful things called DICTIONARIES, too. ]

[Birdie]

Oh my dear Justin, I can’t thank you enough. I’ve been eagerly awaiting a dissenting opinion all week. I knew when it came it would be a flimsy, convoluted, emotional argument that couldn’t stand up to the breath of a new born baby, let alone the gale force wind I knew it would unleash from Jane. You DID NOT DISAPPOINT! AND, I had the pleasure of hearing Jane read her response personally over the phone (eat your hearts out, Janiacs, I have a direct line). Oh, and the grammar was like the cherry on an ice cream sundae :-).

[Justin Grimes]

Wow you people are so so sad. Not only do you attack a mother and her children but my spelling abilitys thats awsome. So you have proven my point about you being a little judgmentel. And what is this janiacs, you people need to get a life and pull your head out of this jane ladys butt. And what the does it matter to you if she has six children does it really effect you. And I see you are so concerned with adoption. So how many kids have you adopted your self. Ms. Jane you are the one with the ego trip. And Im sure that you will with all you Janiacs running around. It really just sounds like someone needs to find a man if you know what I mean. Has it been awhile Ms. Jane. And last Im not the one who brought god into it. Well enjoy your fan club of people who are just as sad individuals as you are. Well two things are clear I need a Dictinary and you need a DIC.... Never mind I will leave that alone. Birdie Im glad I dint disappoint and let me say how cool you are for having that direct line. That must make it easy to kiss her butt more often. Its sounds like you ladys need the clown car. oh Ms Jane your your the cherry on Ms. Birdies Ice Cream Sundae.
And God has everything to do with it.

Justen
Man I really need that dictionary

[JANE SAYS: I was here long before you dropped in and WILL BE long after you have exhausted the limits of your vocabulary, Mr. Grimes. If you were a regular reader, a "Janiac", as they have so named themselves, of which I have closing in on nearly a thousand a day, you would know that when he is not sleeping in the dirt if Iraq, my Marine, "Hunky Husband", keeps me busy with all the extracurricular activities that I require.

And THEN some.

Additionally, he and GOD have seen fit to give me organically grown children of my own, thank you very much, so adoption is something in which I am called to facilitate, not participate.

Until such time as you might read the body of my work and gain a bit of critical reading skill, I would thank you not to drag filthy words in here off the highway. They do NOTHING to boost your credibility and they bore the rest of the Janiacs, who are far too well read to resort to slang to make their more valid points. I have NEVER minded if a reader/commenter does not spell well. Only when their point is poorly made and defended does it become a glaring annoyance.

And Mr. Grimes, YOU have begun to annoy me. I never moderate my comments, much preferring for the ignorant dissenter to have his time in the spotlight to prove my point FOR me. So please save yourself the humiliation and do not return again to your own verbal vomit, as you have served your purpose and the Janiacs are now clearly tired of your mangy presence.

Be well.]

[cheryl]

Rest assured, some tv show will build this family a house and supply a huge van. We don't need to worry about people who decide to take such chances. Everyone is expected to chip in and help. *BARF* I don't agree. I think they made a choice. Just like someone who took an interest only loan on their home and now find they cannot afford it any longer. Who helps them? No one, because, hey it was your choice. I don't know why people feel the need to help these people. They made a choice, they got 6 kids. DEAL WITH IT! If anyone doesn't agree, could you also send me some money so I can diaper my kids too??? I could use a new car too, just in case you are in the giving mood.

[JANE SAYS: I think cheryl is on board. Mr. Grimes...??? Are you getting it NOW? ]

[Jane Doe]

Justin, do you realize you spelled your own name wrong in the June 10th post?

Heh.

[Deborah]

Thank you for the cross-link, Jane. I am honored to join you in spreading the word of what the real risks are with this type of fertility therapy - multifetal gestations and their inherent prematurity.

[Brandon Brown]

I love people like Justin; comments thrown together like his make me very appreciative of my Indiana University education and my PC's spell checker. The religious zealots in this country are always good for a laugh. Keep up the good work Jane! Thank you for being literate.

[JANE SAYS: I werk vary hard to keep up a standurd arond heaar. Y'all come bak, now>>>reeeel soon like. ;) ;) ;) ]

[eman]

Get a life and stop watching others! Let people do as they wish and stop casting stones. Life liberty and pursuit of happiness!!

[JANE SAYS: Then I should not wish to pay for the special education of their INEVITABLY DAMAGED CHILDREN. I have a gifted child who can't get "special " classes>>>so when MY TAX DOLLARS are squandered on the KNOWINGLY CREATED (not the TRUE "accidents" of NATURAL development) SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN, I WILL "WATCH" others ALL I DAMN WELL PLEASE.

You would be wise to do the same. If we spent HALF THE MONEY ON GIFT/TALENTED EDUCATION that we spend teaching crack babies to tie their shoes, we might have cured Cancer by now. Think about that, EMAN! ]

[Liza]

What would be great is if you actually had your facts straight about infertility treatment and the facts about these two cases of sextuplets before you posted.

Clomid doesn't result in high order multiples, information which is VERY easily found on the web if you take the time to look. Follistim does. THAT is what the Masche's took, as well as the Morrison's.

[JANE SAYS: WHAT WOULD BE GREAT is if you weren't a desperate, agenda driven, I-need-to-get-pregnant-at-any-price female. I can smell your desperation. You were Googling your personal fertility treatment options after postponing pregnancy for the twenty years GOD GRACIOUSLY GIVES YOU and were seeking some kind of solace you thought a blog with the word "heavenly" or "mom" in the title might offer.

WRONG, sister.

With your new-found, pedestrian, WEBMd medical expertise, PLEASE explain to those assembled, the HUUUUGE difference YOUR MATCHBOOK MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE finds in the two fertility treatments you described as being SO VASTLY DISSIMILAR.

::crickets chirp impatiently::

Next time, try to hide your PREGNANCY AT ANY COST agenda before YOU comment.Your comment date is JULY 29th. This was originally posted on JUNE 5th. Forgive me if I have had more on my mind than searching the web EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE THEN for new enlightenment on this hedonistic freak show.

But then again, I'M not doing desperate, personal web research to try to justify my own litter of children.

The hand of an ego maniacal doctor is HARDLY the hand of GOD. In your haste to feel better about yourself and your self-centered position, you have willingly overlooked that very singular point of my post in favor of picking out minutia in a weak attempt to discredit it.

Lame.

My advice: Adopt. And get your own blog. A medical one, maybe, since you are SUCH the pharmacologist. Just leave the ETHICS to the rest of us.]

[Michelle]

Jane and friends,

I am neither a religious individual nor an uneducated person. I am a PhD in evolutionary biology. I state this only because you find it essential that I be such before you will listen to what I have to say. In the hopes that someone will listen, I will write on.

You are naive in your statements and judgements about parents with higher-order multiples. I used to share some of those same naive opinions, until I discovered I was infertile myself. This came at the ripe old age of 27. Why? Endometriosis was the culprit. I was never a self-centered person and still am not. We discovered that I was suffering very early miscarriages over and over again which was devastating as I'm sure you can imagine (alright, you probably can't because you obviously suffered no fertility problems of your own). We decided to go ahead with fertility treatments. Why? Because, just like most people in this world, we wanted to try and have a biological child. We wanted to experience pregnancy and childbirth just like EVERYONE ELSE who has decided to have a biological child. Selfish? Only as much as everyone else. It is in a person's nature to want to have biological offspring. This has been demonstrated by many scientists. If it is SO important to you that "other" people adopt...why haven't you? If all of those children need homes...what are YOU doing to help them? Rest assured, if I choose to have more children, I actually AM going to adopt. Somehow, I doubt you will.

My fertility treatments resulted in triplets. Not IVF...you seem to be confused and believe IVF is what produces sextuplets. That isn't the case. Higher-order multiples are mostly the result of fertility medications with an IUI. That is how we got our multiples. I was trying for ONE child, and got three. A medical "mistake" but also a miracle. I couldn't seem to carry one baby, but in one cycle, all three of my babies implanted well! That is a miracle. Plus, the fact that we all made it and are all healthy is another miracle. Yes, multiple births are miraculous. Risky? Yes. I faced those risks first hand. Miraculous? Yes.

The part I do not understand is the judgement placed on the parents of these beautiful sextuplets. Judgement for both undergoing fertility treatments (as I have discussed above) and judgement for not reducing. Hey, here's an idea: Why don't you go kill one of your kids so the other can live? Wouldn't that be ridiculous for me to suggest even if there was scientific reason to back it up? Reduction occurs on average around 10-12 weeks in utero. By this time, the parents have seen the babies kicking and moving about and have fallen in love with their very REAL babies. The problem lies not in the parents' decision whether or not to reduce. The problem lies in the fact that the multiples are conceived to begin with. This is the "fault" of the doctors many times because they neglected to monitor a woman undergoing fertility treatments, or because they were neglectful in administering the IUI when the women had too many mature eggs. The parents simply hope for one child. They understand there is a liklihood of twins and are probably OK with that. The liklihood of higher-order multiples is so low, no one believes it could happen to them. Especially when months and months of procedures haven't worked in the past. Then there are the rare parents of higher-order multiples who conceived spontaneously (without the aid of fertility drugs). Are they subject to this same scrutiny? Do you feel they should also reduce? Risks are the same, but the difference is "they didn't bring it on themselves". Do you judge them as well?

If you have never been in their shoes (which you have not), you can not fathom the choices they have had to make. Instead of focusing on judging parents for not reducing or for having undergone fertility treatment, you would be better off focusing your energies on being thankful for not having to have faced these situations yourself.

I have learned that my prior notions of multiple births and fertility treatments were simply naive and wrong. I have learned greatly from my experiences, and have gained a much greater sense of humanity, empathy, and compassion.

[JANE SAYS: The fact that you aren't even proud enough of your thoughts here to leave ANY email, much less a blog, makes me hesitant to even publish your arrogant rant. But I am feeling benevolent and I believe in letting idiots herald their own idiocy.

You mistake silence about my personal reproductive history as a lack of understanding. You are incorrect. But since I do NOT practice situational ethics, my "absolute moral authority" to speak on this subject is immaterial anyway. Furthermore, if you were more than a WAY tardy,drive-by Googler, you would know my history regarding adoption.

If your repeated gross generalizations about me, based on what is LEFT OUT of the narrative here (which has little at ALL to do with ME, and everything to do with Bioethics) is exemplary of your scientific method, I hate to think how cobbled together your thesis must have been.

I neither care, nor do I hold it against you, that you are a self-described Atheist Elitist. Your tedious list of pathetic rationalizations is all I need to know. You are but another sad, self-centered dupe of the "all about me" fertility/abortion industry.

And I didn't even need a PhD to figure THAT one out.]